10 Tell-Tale Signs Your Spouse Is Considering Divorce

If your spouse has become emotionally distant, overly critical, secretive about finances, or suddenly focused on their appearance, these could be warning signs they’re considering divorce. Recognizing these red flags early gives you time to address underlying issues, seek counseling, or prepare yourself for what may come next.

Most marriages don’t collapse overnight. Problems typically build over months or years, leaving a trail of warning signs along the way. At Varghese Summersett, our team has helped hundreds of Texas families through divorce proceedings. Based on that experience, here are ten tell-tale signs your spouse may be thinking about ending the marriage.

What Are the Warning Signs Your Spouse Wants a Divorce?

Every marriage goes through rough patches. But certain behavior changes suggest something more serious than a temporary slump. If you notice several of these signs occurring together, your spouse may already be mentally preparing to leave the relationship.

1. Emotional Withdrawal and Distance

When someone is considering divorce, they often begin pulling away emotionally before taking any legal action. Your spouse may avoid affection, disengage from meaningful conversations, and opt out of activities you once enjoyed together. This emotional detachment is often one of the earliest indicators that something is wrong.

Pay attention if your partner seems physically present but mentally elsewhere. They may give short answers, avoid eye contact, or seem uninterested in your day. This withdrawal creates space between you that grows wider over time.

2. Constant Criticism

A spouse who suddenly finds fault with everything you do may be building a mental case for leaving. Nitpicking your appearance, questioning your parenting decisions, or criticizing your housekeeping are ways some people justify their desire to end the marriage.

This pattern goes beyond normal disagreements. When criticism becomes relentless and nothing you do seems good enough, your spouse may be rationalizing their unhappiness by focusing on your perceived flaws.

3. Sudden Interest in Physical Appearance

Has your spouse suddenly started working out, buying new clothes, or paying more attention to their grooming habits? While self-improvement isn’t inherently suspicious, a dramatic and unexplained change in appearance can signal they’re preparing for life after your marriage or trying to attract someone new.

4. Lack of Physical Intimacy

Physical intimacy naturally ebbs and flows in long-term relationships. However, a complete halt to your sex life may indicate deeper problems. When a spouse mentally checks out of a marriage, they often lose interest in physical connection as well.

This isn’t just about frequency. A spouse considering divorce may also resist casual touching, hugs, or other forms of non-sexual physical affection. The emotional distance translates into physical distance.

5. No Interest in Your Life

Couples who are invested in their relationship take interest in each other’s daily experiences. If your spouse used to ask about your day but now seems completely indifferent, they may have already begun detaching from the marriage.

A partner who doesn’t care about your work, friendships, or personal struggles has stopped investing emotionally. This lack of curiosity about your life suggests they no longer see themselves as part of your future.

6. Increased Secrecy

Secretive behavior is a major red flag. Watch for signs like a new email account you weren’t told about, password changes on devices, deleted text messages, or hidden credit card statements. Your spouse may also become protective of their phone, angling it away from you or taking calls in another room.

Financial secrecy is particularly telling. If your spouse opens new accounts, moves money without explanation, or receives mail they don’t want you to see, they may be preparing for property division in a divorce.

7. Working Late (Or Claiming To)

Sudden changes in work habits deserve attention. If your spouse who always came home at 6 p.m. now regularly works late or takes unexpected business trips, they may be avoiding time at home or spending time elsewhere.

Happy, committed couples generally want to spend time together. A spouse who consistently finds reasons to be away from home may be emotionally (or physically) investing their time in someone or something else.

8. Substance Abuse or Risky Behavior

Increased drinking, drug use, gambling, or other risky behaviors sometimes indicate a spouse is struggling with marital unhappiness. These behaviors may be coping mechanisms for the stress of an unfulfilling relationship or the guilt of planning to leave.

Addiction issues can also cause marriages to deteriorate. If your spouse’s behavior has changed dramatically and they’re engaging in self-destructive patterns, the marriage may already be in serious trouble.

9. Refusal to Compromise

Marriage requires ongoing negotiation and compromise. When a spouse becomes rigid and unwilling to budge on any issue, they may have already given up on making the relationship work.

This stubbornness often appears in discussions about the future. A spouse who won’t discuss vacation plans, major purchases, or long-term goals may not see a future with you in it. If mediation or couples counseling is refused outright, that’s an even stronger signal.

10. Talking About Divorce

The clearest sign your spouse is considering divorce is when they bring it up. Whether mentioned casually or during arguments, if your spouse raises the topic of divorce, separation, or “what would happen if we split up,” take it seriously.

Some spouses test the waters by asking hypothetical questions about dividing assets or custody arrangements. Others may mention divorce directly during conflicts. Either way, once divorce enters the conversation, it’s likely already on their mind.

What Should You Do If You Notice These Signs?

Recognizing warning signs doesn’t mean divorce is inevitable. Many couples work through serious problems with honest communication, professional counseling, or both. If you see these patterns in your marriage, consider taking these steps.

First, try to talk openly with your spouse. Choose a calm moment and express your concerns without accusations. Ask direct questions about how they’re feeling about the relationship. Sometimes this conversation alone can open the door to addressing problems together.

If direct communication isn’t working, consider couples counseling. A professional therapist can help you both express concerns and work toward solutions. Texas law does not require counseling before divorce, but marriage counseling may help you decide whether the relationship can be saved.

If you believe divorce is likely, protect yourself by consulting with an experienced family law attorney. Understanding your rights regarding child custody, property division, and spousal support early in the process gives you time to prepare.

How Does Infidelity Affect Divorce in Texas?

Several of the warning signs listed above (secrecy, changes in appearance, unexplained absences) may indicate infidelity. If you suspect your spouse is cheating, you should know how adultery affects Texas divorce proceedings.

Texas allows couples to file for divorce on fault grounds, including adultery. Under Texas Family Code Section 6.003, a court may grant a divorce in favor of one spouse if the other spouse has committed adultery. Proving adultery can affect how property is divided and may influence spousal maintenance decisions.

However, pursuing a fault-based divorce requires evidence. If you believe infidelity is occurring, document what you can without violating any laws. An experienced divorce attorney can advise you on what evidence is useful and how to obtain it legally.

Watch: Can Adultery Affect Your Divorce?

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I stop my spouse from filing for divorce?

No. Texas is a no-fault divorce state, meaning either spouse can file for divorce without the other’s consent. Even if you want to save the marriage, your spouse can proceed with divorce by citing “insupportability” (irreconcilable differences). However, working with a counselor or mediator may help address issues before a divorce is filed.

Should I file for divorce first?

There can be strategic advantages to filing for divorce first in Texas. The petitioner (the person who files) gets to present their case first at trial and may have some choice in which court hears the case. However, filing first isn’t always the right move. Consult with an attorney to understand what makes sense for your situation.

How do I prepare for a divorce I didn’t want?

Start by gathering financial documents, including tax returns, bank statements, retirement account information, and records of debts. Make copies of important personal documents like birth certificates and Social Security cards. Open your own bank account and credit card if you don’t have them. Most importantly, consult with a family law attorney who can explain your rights and help you plan your next steps.

What if my spouse is hiding money?

Texas law requires both spouses to fully disclose their assets during divorce. If you suspect your spouse is hiding money or assets, your attorney can use discovery tools like interrogatories, depositions, and subpoenas to uncover hidden assets. Forensic accountants can also help trace money that has been moved or concealed.

How long does a divorce take in Texas?

Texas has a mandatory 60-day waiting period from the date a divorce petition is filed until a divorce can be finalized. Uncontested divorces where both parties agree may be completed shortly after this waiting period. Contested divorces involving disputes over children, property, or support can take six months to a year or longer.

Recognizing the Signs: What Comes Next?

Noticing these warning signs in your marriage can feel overwhelming. You may be unsure whether to confront your spouse, seek counseling, or start preparing for divorce. Whatever path you choose, having accurate information about your legal rights is essential.

At Varghese Summersett Family Law Group, we help Texas families through every stage of divorce. Our team includes board-certified family law specialists who understand the emotional and legal challenges you’re facing. We can help you understand your options, whether that means preparing for an amicable separation or protecting your interests in a contested divorce.

If you recognize any of these warning signs and need guidance on your options, contact Varghese Summersett at 817-900-3220 to schedule a consultation with a Texas divorce attorney.