Sexless Marriage and Divorce in Texas

A sexless marriage alone is not grounds for divorce in Texas, but it can contribute to the overall discord that makes your marriage unsupportable. If you have tried therapy, honest communication, and genuine effort to reconnect but nothing has changed, it may be time to consider your options. Texas is a no-fault divorce state, meaning you can end your marriage by simply stating it has become insupportable due to conflict or personality differences.

The decision to leave a marriage due to lack of intimacy is deeply personal. This article explains how Texas law treats sexless marriages, when divorce might be the right choice, and what steps to take if you decide to move forward.

What Is a Sexless Marriage?

Researchers typically define a sexless marriage as one with fewer than 10 sexual encounters per year. However, this definition does not account for each partner’s individual needs and desires, which vary greatly from couple to couple. For some, a decrease in frequency may not cause concern. For others, it leads to deep frustration and emotional pain.

Studies suggest that 15 to 20 percent of marriages fall into this category. While this number may seem high, a sexless marriage does not automatically mean an unhappy relationship. Many couples in sexless marriages report strong emotional connections and mutual respect. The issue becomes problematic when one or both partners feel rejected, lonely, or dissatisfied because of the lack of physical intimacy.

What Causes a Sexless Marriage?

Several factors can lead to a sexless marriage. Medical issues such as hormonal imbalances, chronic illness, or medication side effects can decrease sexual desire. Emotional disconnection from unresolved conflicts, poor communication, or past trauma also plays a significant role. Stress from work, financial pressures, or the demands of raising children can create physical and emotional exhaustion that leaves little energy for intimacy.

Differences in sexual desire between partners can further contribute to the problem. One spouse may want intimacy more frequently than the other, leading to feelings of rejection on one side and pressure on the other. When couples cannot openly discuss their needs and desires, the gap between them often widens over time.

How Does a Sexless Marriage Affect Mental Health?

The impact of a sexless marriage extends beyond the bedroom. It can lead to feelings of rejection, low self-esteem, and deep relationship dissatisfaction. The lack of physical intimacy often creates emotional distance between partners, breaking down communication and connection. This can result in loneliness, isolation, and in some cases, depression or anxiety.

Both men and women may question their attractiveness or desirability when intimacy disappears from their relationship. This can damage self-image and create resentment that spills into other areas of the marriage. Regular sexual activity has also been linked to health benefits including reduced stress, better sleep, and improved cardiovascular health, meaning the absence of intimacy may affect overall well-being.

Is a Sexless Marriage Grounds for Divorce in Texas?

Texas does not recognize a sexless marriage as specific grounds for divorce. Unlike some states that recognize “alienation of affection” or “constructive abandonment,” Texas law does not list lack of intimacy as a standalone reason to end a marriage.

However, Texas is a no-fault divorce state. Under Texas Family Code Section 6.001, either spouse can file for divorce by stating the marriage has become “insupportable because of discord or conflict of personalities” that destroys the legitimate ends of the marital relationship with no reasonable expectation of reconciliation.

This means you do not need to prove your spouse did anything wrong. If the lack of sexual intimacy has contributed to overall marital discord, it can be part of your reasoning for seeking a no-fault divorce.

No-Fault vs. Fault Divorce in Texas

In a no-fault divorce, neither spouse must prove wrongdoing. You simply state the marriage has become insupportable.

In a fault divorce, one spouse must prove the other committed a marital wrong. Under Texas Family Code Chapter 6, recognized fault grounds include cruelty, adultery, abandonment for at least one year, felony conviction with imprisonment for at least one year, living apart for at least three years, and confinement in a mental hospital.

While lack of intimacy is not a fault ground, if it is part of cruel treatment or contributes to the overall breakdown of the marriage, it could potentially factor into divorce proceedings. A Texas divorce attorney can help you understand which approach makes the most sense for your situation.

Why Do People Stay in a Sexless Marriage?

Many people remain in sexless marriages for reasons that have nothing to do with satisfaction. Financial concerns, children, religious beliefs, fear of being alone, or hope that things will improve can all keep someone in an unfulfilling relationship. Some couples have simply accepted a different kind of partnership, finding connection through companionship rather than physical intimacy.

There is no single right answer. What matters is whether you feel fulfilled, respected, and emotionally healthy in your relationship. If the lack of intimacy is causing ongoing pain or resentment, staying may do more harm than good over time.

Watch: Texas Divorce Fault vs. No-Fault Grounds Explained

Can a Sexless Marriage Be Fixed?

Some sexless marriages can be repaired with effort from both partners. The first step is honest communication about feelings, needs, and concerns. Creating a safe space where both people can speak without judgment or blame is essential.

Professional help often makes a significant difference. A licensed therapist or counselor can provide guidance for couples struggling with intimacy issues. Sex therapy specifically addresses sexual concerns and can help partners explore their desires, work through dysfunction, and rebuild their physical relationship. Individual therapy may also help if personal issues like trauma, anxiety, or low self-esteem contribute to the problem.

Dating your spouse again can help reignite passion. Setting aside regular time for connection, away from daily responsibilities and distractions, recreates the anticipation and excitement of early romance. It does not need to be expensive or elaborate. The goal is quality time focused on each other.

If you are considering reconciliation before making any decisions about your marriage, working with a marriage counselor who specializes in intimacy issues can provide valuable perspective.

When Is It Time to Walk Away from a Sexless Marriage?

Certain signs indicate that leaving may be the healthiest choice. Consider walking away if your partner consistently refuses to acknowledge the problem or work toward improvement. A spouse who dismisses your concerns about intimacy or refuses counseling is showing they are not committed to meeting your needs.

If other significant problems exist alongside the lack of intimacy, such as poor communication, emotional neglect, or infidelity, the sexless marriage may be just one symptom of deeper dysfunction. When core incompatibilities in sexual interests exist and compromise seems impossible, the relationship may simply be unable to meet both partners’ needs.

Before making a final decision, consider the emotional, financial, and practical consequences of divorce. How will it affect your living situation, finances, or children? Are you prepared for co-parenting or single life? These questions deserve careful thought.

Consulting with a family law mediator or attorney can help you understand your options and what to expect if you move forward. Every situation is unique, and the decision to stay or leave should ultimately be based on your own needs, values, and long-term well-being.

What to Do If You Decide to Divorce

If you have reached the decision that your marriage cannot be saved, taking the right steps can protect your interests and make the process smoother.

First, gather important financial documents including bank statements, tax returns, retirement account information, and records of debts and assets. Understanding your financial picture is essential for property division negotiations.

Consider whether an uncontested divorce might work for your situation. If you and your spouse can agree on major issues like property division and child custody, the process will be faster, less expensive, and less emotionally draining than a contested case.

If children are involved, begin thinking about custody arrangements and how you will handle co-parenting. Courts in Texas prioritize the best interests of children when making custody decisions.

Finally, speak with an experienced family law attorney who can explain your rights and help you navigate the legal process. Having skilled guidance from the start can prevent costly mistakes and help you achieve a fair outcome.

If you are ready to take the next step, our family law team is here to help. Call (817) 203-2220 to discuss your options.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I get a divorce in Texas just because my spouse won’t have sex with me?

Lack of sex alone is not a specific ground for divorce in Texas. However, Texas allows no-fault divorce, meaning you can file by stating your marriage has become insupportable due to discord. If the lack of intimacy has created ongoing conflict or destroyed your relationship, it contributes to the grounds for a no-fault divorce.

How long does a divorce take in Texas?

Texas has a mandatory 60-day waiting period from the date the divorce petition is filed. Simple uncontested divorces may be finalized shortly after this period. Contested cases involving disputes over property, custody, or other issues can take several months to over a year depending on the complexity.

Will a sexless marriage affect how property is divided?

In most cases, lack of intimacy alone will not affect property division. Texas is a community property state, and courts divide marital assets in a manner they consider “just and right.” However, if the sexless marriage resulted from or led to other factors like adultery, that could potentially influence the court’s decisions.

Should I try marriage counseling before filing for divorce?

While Texas does not require marriage counseling before divorce, many couples find it helpful. Counseling can clarify whether the marriage can be saved or confirm that divorce is the right path. It also provides a space to communicate about difficult issues with professional guidance. If you decide to proceed with divorce, the insights gained from counseling can still be valuable.

What should I do first if I’m thinking about divorce?

Start by consulting with a family law attorney to understand your rights and options. Gather financial documents and begin thinking about what you want regarding property division and, if applicable, child custody. Avoid making major financial decisions or confrontational moves before getting legal advice.