If you’re asking yourself whether your spouse is cheating, your instincts are likely picking up on real changes in your relationship. While no single behavior proves infidelity, certain patterns of secrecy, emotional distance, and unexplained changes often indicate a partner is hiding something significant. Recognizing these signs early can help you protect yourself emotionally, financially, and legally if your marriage is heading toward divorce.
Infidelity affects more than just the relationship. In Texas, adultery remains a fault ground for divorce under Texas Family Code § 6.003, and proving it can significantly impact property division and spousal maintenance decisions. Understanding what you’re dealing with is the first step toward making informed decisions about your future.
Why Recognizing the Signs Matters in Texas
Texas courts can consider adultery when dividing the marital estate. A spouse who committed adultery may receive a smaller share of community property, and the faithful spouse may have stronger grounds for spousal maintenance. Beyond the legal implications, knowing the truth allows you to plan your next steps with clarity rather than suspicion.
The signs below don’t guarantee infidelity. Some may have innocent explanations. But when multiple signs appear together, or when your spouse’s explanations don’t add up, it’s time to pay closer attention and consider your options.
The 15 Telltale Signs Your Spouse May Be Cheating
1. Sudden Phone Secrecy
A spouse who once left their phone on the kitchen counter now carries it everywhere, including to the bathroom. They’ve added new passcodes, changed existing ones, or angle the screen away when texting. Phone calls get taken in another room, and they’re visibly startled if you walk in during a conversation.
This shift from openness to secrecy often signals hidden communication. While everyone deserves some privacy, a dramatic change in phone behavior typically means something has changed in what’s being communicated.
2. Unexplained Schedule Changes
Suddenly, your spouse has more work trips, late nights at the office, or weekend obligations that never existed before. Their schedule becomes vague or constantly shifting. When you ask for details, answers are evasive or inconsistent with what they’ve said previously.
Affairs require time, and that time has to come from somewhere. Watch for patterns where new “commitments” conveniently explain absences that coincide with decreased intimacy or engagement at home.
3. Emotional Distance and Withdrawal
Your spouse seems mentally elsewhere. Conversations feel superficial. They no longer share details about their day or ask about yours. The emotional intimacy that once defined your relationship has faded, replaced by coexisting rather than connecting.
Emotional affairs often precede or accompany physical ones. When someone invests emotional energy in another person, they withdraw it from their spouse. You feel this as a wall between you that wasn’t there before.
4. Changes in Intimacy Patterns
Physical intimacy may decrease dramatically, with your spouse showing little interest and avoiding situations that might lead to closeness. Alternatively, some cheating spouses become more sexually attentive out of guilt or because their affair has increased their overall libido.
Either extreme, when it represents a change from your established pattern, deserves attention. New techniques or preferences your spouse suddenly introduces may also raise questions about where they learned them.
5. Increased Attention to Appearance
Your spouse suddenly cares more about how they look. They’re buying new clothes, hitting the gym regularly, or paying more attention to grooming. These changes seem oriented toward impressing someone, but that someone doesn’t appear to be you.
People in new romantic relationships often experience renewed interest in their appearance. If your spouse is dressing better for “work” but not for date nights with you, consider who the intended audience might be.
6. Defensive Reactions to Simple Questions
Innocent questions like “Who was that on the phone?” or “How was your day?” trigger defensive or hostile responses. Your spouse accuses you of being controlling, paranoid, or jealous when you’re simply making conversation.
This defensiveness often stems from guilt. A spouse who isn’t hiding anything has no reason to react aggressively to routine questions. When normal curiosity provokes anger, something is being concealed.
7. Unexplained Expenses and Financial Secrecy
Credit card statements show charges at restaurants you’ve never visited, hotels in your own city, or gifts you never received. Cash withdrawals increase without explanation. Your spouse becomes protective of financial information or opens new accounts you weren’t told about.
Affairs cost money. Dinners, hotels, gifts, and trips require spending that appears somewhere. In Texas, where community property laws mean both spouses have equal ownership of marital assets, hidden spending on an affair can become relevant in divorce proceedings.
8. New Music, Interests, or Opinions
Suddenly your spouse is interested in hiking, jazz, or wine, things they never cared about before. They’re quoting movies you’ve never watched together or referencing experiences you didn’t share.
People absorb the interests of those they spend time with. When your spouse develops new tastes that don’t trace back to you, friends, or family, consider who else might be influencing them.
9. Increased Criticism of You
Your spouse finds fault with things that never bothered them before. They criticize your appearance, habits, or personality in ways that feel designed to justify emotional withdrawal or create distance.
Some cheating spouses unconsciously (or consciously) build a case against their partner to rationalize the affair. If nothing you do seems right anymore, your spouse may be comparing you to someone else or manufacturing reasons to feel less guilty.
10. Secretive Social Media Activity
New accounts appear that you weren’t told about. Privacy settings tighten. Your spouse spends more time on social media but is evasive about who they’re communicating with. You notice them quickly closing apps when you approach.
Social media and messaging apps have made affairs easier to conduct and harder to detect. A partner who once shared their online life with you but now guards it closely may be hiding connections they don’t want you to see.
11. Gut Feeling That Something Is Wrong
You sense a change you can’t quite articulate. Something feels off, even when you can’t point to specific evidence. Your spouse feels like a different person, and the relationship has an unfamiliar tension.
Don’t dismiss your intuition. After years of marriage, you know your spouse’s patterns, moods, and habits. When your instincts signal danger, they’re often responding to subtle cues your conscious mind hasn’t fully processed.
12. Stories That Don’t Add Up
Details of your spouse’s activities don’t match. They mentioned dinner with a colleague, but the timeline doesn’t work. They said they were at a specific location, but evidence suggests otherwise. When you note inconsistencies, they become flustered or angry rather than offering clarification.
Lies require maintenance. Over time, deceptive stories develop holes. Pay attention when your spouse’s narratives contain contradictions they can’t explain.
13. New Friend You’ve Never Met
Your spouse frequently mentions a new “friend” or colleague but never introduces you and seems to avoid situations where you might meet this person. They may minimize the friendship’s significance while spending considerable time with this individual.
Often, the affair partner hides in plain sight as a “friend from work” or “gym buddy.” The refusal to include you in this friendship signals that the relationship is more than platonic.
14. Emotional Volatility and Guilt Signals
Your spouse’s mood swings unpredictably. They’re irritable one moment and overly sweet the next. Unexpected gifts appear without occasion. They apologize for things that don’t require apology or become emotional during conversations about loyalty and trust.
Guilt manifests in various ways. Some cheating spouses become hostile to create distance; others become affectionate to compensate. Both extremes, when they represent changes from baseline behavior, may indicate internal conflict about their actions.
15. They Accuse You of Cheating
Without any basis, your spouse accuses you of infidelity. They question your loyalty, demand to know your whereabouts, or suggest you’re the one hiding something.
Projection is a classic defense mechanism. By accusing you, a cheating spouse deflects attention from their own behavior and may genuinely believe that if they’re capable of cheating, you must be too.
How Adultery Affects Divorce in Texas
Texas recognizes both no-fault and fault-based grounds for divorce. Under Texas Family Code § 6.001, you can divorce simply because the marriage has become “insupportable” due to conflict. However, § 6.003 also allows divorce based on adultery, which can have meaningful legal consequences.
Impact on Property Division
Texas is a community property state, meaning assets acquired during marriage are presumed to belong equally to both spouses. However, courts have discretion to divide property in a manner that is “just and right,” and proven adultery can tip that balance.
If your spouse spent community funds on an affair (hotel rooms, gifts, trips, or financial support for an affair partner), the court may award you a larger share of the remaining estate to compensate. This is sometimes called “wasting” community assets, and Texas courts take it seriously.
Impact on Spousal Maintenance
Under Texas Family Code § 8.052, courts consider adultery when deciding whether to award spousal maintenance and in what amount. A spouse who committed adultery may be denied maintenance they would otherwise receive. Conversely, the faithful spouse’s request for support may be viewed more favorably.
Impact on Child Custody
Adultery alone doesn’t typically determine custody outcomes. Texas courts focus on the child’s best interest, not on punishing a cheating parent. However, if the affair involved behavior that affected the children (exposure to inappropriate situations, neglect of parental duties, or introducing the children to an unstable partner), it becomes relevant to custody decisions.
What to Do If You Suspect Your Spouse Is Cheating
Document What You Observe
Keep a private journal of behaviors, dates, times, and any concrete evidence you encounter. Note schedule changes, unexplained expenses, and inconsistencies in their stories. This documentation may prove valuable if you pursue a fault-based divorce.
Secure Financial Information
Gather copies of tax returns, bank statements, credit card statements, investment accounts, and property records. Understanding your financial picture becomes critical if divorce follows. Texas law entitles you to this information, but gathering it while you still have easy access simplifies the process.
Consult with a Family Law Attorney
Before confronting your spouse or making major decisions, speak with an experienced Texas family law attorney. An attorney can explain your rights, discuss how adultery might affect your specific situation, and help you develop a strategy that protects your interests.
Making emotional decisions without legal guidance often creates problems that are difficult to undo. A consultation costs far less than the mistakes people make when acting on anger or fear.
Protect Your Digital Privacy
If you share devices or accounts with your spouse, assume they can see your activity. Use a private device for sensitive communications, including conversations with attorneys or trusted friends. Change passwords on personal accounts that your spouse may access.
Consider Your Children
If you have children, their wellbeing must guide your decisions. Avoid involving them in adult conflicts or speaking negatively about their other parent. Whatever happens in your marriage, your children need both parents, and courts favor those who facilitate healthy relationships.
Gathering Evidence of Adultery in Texas
Texas law permits using evidence of adultery in divorce proceedings, but how you gather that evidence matters.
You may legally review shared account statements, phone records on family plans, and information on jointly owned devices. You may hire a licensed private investigator to conduct surveillance in public places.
However, Texas law prohibits wiretapping, recording private conversations without consent (Texas is a one-party consent state, meaning you can record conversations you’re part of, but not conversations between your spouse and others), and accessing password-protected accounts you’re not authorized to use.
Evidence obtained illegally may be inadmissible and could expose you to criminal charges or civil liability. Work with your attorney to understand what’s permissible and what crosses the line.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I get a divorce in Texas just because my spouse cheated?
Yes. Adultery is one of seven fault grounds for divorce recognized under Texas Family Code § 6.003. You can pursue a fault-based divorce alleging adultery, though you’ll need to prove it occurred. Alternatively, you can pursue a no-fault divorce without proving anything beyond irreconcilable differences.
Will my spouse go to jail for cheating?
No. While adultery was once criminally punishable in Texas, the statute was repealed. Cheating is not a crime, though it can have significant civil consequences in divorce proceedings.
How do I prove adultery in a Texas divorce?
Proving adultery doesn’t require catching your spouse in the act. Courts accept circumstantial evidence showing opportunity and inclination, such as hotel receipts, romantic communications, testimony from witnesses, or evidence of a secret relationship. The standard is “clear and convincing evidence,” which means the proof must be highly persuasive.
Will adultery affect how much child support I receive?
No. Texas child support calculations follow statutory guidelines based on the paying spouse’s income and number of children. Adultery doesn’t change those calculations. Child support is about supporting children, not punishing spouses.
Should I confront my spouse about cheating before filing for divorce?
Consider consulting with an attorney first. A confrontation may prompt your spouse to hide assets, destroy evidence, or take other actions that complicate divorce proceedings. An attorney can help you develop a strategy that accounts for your specific circumstances.
Get Help from an Experienced Texas Family Law Attorney
Suspecting your spouse of infidelity is emotionally devastating. You’re facing questions about your marriage, your future, your children, and your financial security, often all at once. You don’t have to face these questions alone.
At Varghese Summersett, our family law team has guided thousands of Texas residents through divorce, including cases involving adultery. We understand both the legal complexities and the emotional weight of what you’re experiencing. Our attorneys practice in Fort Worth, Dallas, Houston, and Southlake, with deep knowledge of local courts and judges throughout the region.
If you’re ready to understand your options, we offer free confidential consultations. You’ll speak directly with an experienced family law attorney who can answer your questions and help you see the path forward.
Call Varghese Summersett today at (817) 203-2220 to schedule your free consultation. Whatever you’re facing, you deserve an attorney who will fight for your interests and treat you with the respect you deserve.
