Divorce Do’s and Don’ts: A Texas Checklist
If you’re considering divorce in Texas, the decisions you make now will shape your financial future, your relationship with your children, and how quickly you can move forward. This checklist covers what to do (and what to avoid) before and during Texas divorce proceedings. Proper planning can save you thousands of dollars, reduce emotional stress, and protect what matters most.
Divorce is not a failure. It does not mean something is wrong with you. What it does mean is that you deserve to feel valued and emotionally fulfilled, and sometimes that requires difficult decisions. By following these do’s and don’ts, you can approach your divorce strategically rather than reactively.
What Should You Do Before Filing for Divorce in Texas?
Texas is a community property state under Texas Family Code Chapter 3. This means most assets acquired during marriage belong equally to both spouses, regardless of who earned the money or whose name is on the account. Understanding this before you file helps you prepare realistically for property division.
Evaluate and Document Your Assets
Gather records for every asset you own: bank accounts, retirement accounts, investment portfolios, real estate, vehicles, and valuable personal property. Organize these documents in a location your spouse cannot access. Take photographs of important items, especially jewelry, art, or collectibles that could disappear.
Identify which assets are community property (acquired during marriage) and which are separate property (owned before marriage, inherited, or received as gifts). Under Texas Family Code § 3.001, separate property remains yours. Community property gets divided by the court. Note that community property is not automatically split 50-50 in Texas. Courts divide it in a manner they consider “just and right,” which can result in unequal splits based on factors like earning capacity, fault in the marriage breakdown, and custody arrangements.
Talk to Your Spouse Calmly
Even if you know the marriage is over, communicate with your spouse before filing. This conversation is not about reconciliation (unless you want that). It’s about setting a tone. Couples who can discuss divorce without hostility spend less money on attorneys and reach agreements faster.
If you have children, your ability to communicate calmly now predicts how well co-parenting will work later. Texas courts consider the parents’ ability to cooperate when making custody decisions under Texas Family Code Chapter 153.
Get Employed or Stay Employed
Do not assume your spouse will support you financially during or after divorce. Texas courts may award spousal maintenance (alimony), but only in limited circumstances under Texas Family Code Chapter 8. To qualify, you typically must have been married at least 10 years and lack sufficient property or earning ability to meet your minimum reasonable needs.
If you are not working, consider getting a job before filing. Create a realistic budget that includes rent, utilities, food, transportation, health insurance, and potential child support obligations. If your spouse gets primary custody and you are unemployed, you will still owe child support. Texas calculates child support as a percentage of net income under Texas Family Code § 154.125, and courts can impute income to an unemployed parent based on earning potential.
Make a Plan for Your Children
Think through the practical details: Where will the children live during the school year? Who will handle morning drop-off and homework help? Which parent lives closer to their school, doctors, and activities?
Texas courts decide custody based on the “best interest of the child” standard. If you believe primary custody serves your children’s best interest, document specific reasons why. Vague claims that you’re “the better parent” carry no weight. Concrete examples matter: you attend every parent-teacher conference, you manage their medical appointments, you help with homework every night.
Hire an Attorney
If your spouse has already hired a divorce attorney, you need one immediately. Even in amicable divorces, having separate legal representation ensures your interests are protected. An experienced family law attorney can identify assets you might overlook, anticipate problems before they escalate, and negotiate more effectively than you can on your own.
At Varghese Summersett, our family law team includes board-certified specialists with decades of combined experience handling Texas divorces. We have offices in Fort Worth, Dallas, Houston, and Southlake, and we understand how different courts and judges approach property division and custody.
Consider Your Divorce Options
Not every divorce requires a courtroom battle. Texas offers several paths:
Uncontested divorce: Both spouses agree on all terms. This is the fastest and cheapest option, often completed in 60-90 days after the mandatory 60-day waiting period under Texas Family Code § 6.702.
Mediation: A neutral mediator helps you and your spouse negotiate an agreement. Most Texas courts require mediation before trial. Many cases settle at this stage.
Collaborative divorce: Both spouses and their attorneys commit to reaching a settlement without litigation. If collaboration fails, both attorneys must withdraw, creating a strong incentive to negotiate in good faith.
Contested divorce: When spouses cannot agree, the court decides. This path takes longer, costs more, and puts major life decisions in a judge’s hands.
Texas recognizes both no-fault and fault-based grounds for divorce. The most common ground is “insupportability” (irreconcilable differences). Fault grounds include cruelty, adultery, felony conviction, abandonment for at least one year, living apart for at least three years, or confinement to a mental hospital. Proving fault can affect property division and spousal maintenance awards.
Build a Support System
Divorce is emotionally exhausting. You need people who will listen without judgment, not people who fuel your anger or encourage bad decisions. If friends and family are not providing healthy support, consider working with a therapist or counselor. Keeping emotions out of legal proceedings helps you make better decisions and often leads to better outcomes.
Update Your Estate Plan
Review your will, powers of attorney, and beneficiary designations. If your spouse is named as your executor, healthcare proxy, or beneficiary on life insurance or retirement accounts, you may want to change those designations. Divorce does not automatically remove your spouse from these documents in Texas.
Also review any HIPAA authorization forms that give your spouse access to your medical records. You can revoke these authorizations at any time.
Create a Safety Plan if Needed
If you or your children are at risk of physical harm, safety comes first. Document any abuse with photographs, medical records, or police reports. Texas law enforcement can escort you while you remove belongings from the home. An attorney can help you obtain a protective order under Texas Family Code Chapter 82, which can remove an abusive spouse from the home and establish temporary custody.
What Should You Avoid During a Texas Divorce?
The mistakes people make during divorce often cause more damage than the divorce itself. Avoid these common errors.
Don’t Start a New Relationship
Beginning a romantic relationship while your divorce is pending creates problems. If adultery contributed to the marriage breakdown, flaunting a new partner inflames conflict and can affect property division. Even if the relationship started after separation, introducing a new partner to your children too soon can hurt your custody case. Keep new relationships private until your divorce is finalized.
Don’t Take Extreme Actions
Moving all the money out of joint accounts, emptying the house, or fleeing the state with your children will backfire. Texas courts can issue temporary restraining orders that freeze assets and establish temporary custody. Judges remember who acted reasonably and who tried to gain unfair advantage.
Under the standing orders that apply automatically in many Texas counties once a divorce is filed, both spouses are prohibited from hiding or wasting community assets, disparaging each other to the children, or removing children from the state without consent or court approval.
Don’t Abandon Your Children
Even if you expect your spouse to get primary custody, stay actively involved in your children’s lives. Attend school events, maintain regular contact, and keep showing up. Courts consider the existing parent-child relationship when making custody decisions. Disappearing during divorce proceedings signals to the court that you are not committed to parenting.
Don’t Quit Your Job
Quitting your job to reduce your income does not eliminate child support or spousal maintenance obligations. Texas courts can impute income based on your earning capacity. If you were making $80,000 before you quit, the court can calculate support as if you still earn $80,000.
Don’t Hide Assets
Both spouses must disclose all assets and debts during divorce. Hiding assets is fraud. If discovered (and forensic accountants are good at their jobs), you face severe consequences: the court can award more property to your spouse, hold you in contempt, or sanction you with attorney’s fees. The short-term gain is never worth the risk.
Don’t File Without Planning
Divorce costs money. Attorney’s fees, court costs, appraisals, and new living expenses add up. Before filing, make sure you have enough savings to cover at least several months of expenses. Know where you will live. Understand your monthly budget. Desperation leads to bad settlements.
Don’t Post on Social Media
Everything you post online can become evidence. That photo from a vacation you “couldn’t afford” contradicts your financial declarations. Venting about your spouse gives their attorney ammunition. Posting pictures with a new partner raises questions about when the relationship started. The safest approach: stay off social media entirely until your divorce is final. If you cannot resist, assume your spouse’s attorney will see everything you post.
Don’t Make Decisions You’d Be Embarrassed to Explain in Court
Before any significant decision, ask yourself: “Would I be comfortable explaining this to a judge?” If the answer is no, don’t do it.
Signs Your Spouse May Be Preparing for Divorce
Sometimes divorce catches you off guard. Watch for these warning signs:
Your spouse hired an attorney but won’t explain why. They are transferring assets or changing account passwords without discussing it with you. Communication has broken down significantly, and your attempts to connect go unanswered. They mention wanting a “fresh start” or seem emotionally distant in ways that feel different from normal stress.
Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong and your spouse refuses to communicate, consult with a family law attorney to understand your rights and options.
Should You Hire a Private Investigator?
In some cases, a private investigator can gather evidence of hidden assets, adultery, or other misconduct that affects your divorce. Our firm works with experienced investigators when the situation warrants it. Whether investigation makes sense depends on your specific circumstances, and your attorney can advise you.
Frequently Asked Questions About Texas Divorce
How long does a divorce take in Texas?
Texas requires a 60-day waiting period after filing before a divorce can be finalized. Uncontested divorces often conclude within 60-90 days. Contested divorces with disputes over property or custody can take six months to two years or longer, depending on complexity and court schedules.
Is Texas a 50-50 divorce state?
No. Texas is a community property state, but that does not mean assets are split equally. Courts divide community property in a manner that is “just and right,” which can result in unequal divisions based on factors like fault, earning capacity, and custody arrangements.
Can I get alimony in Texas?
Texas calls it spousal maintenance, and eligibility is limited. Generally, you must have been married at least 10 years and lack the ability to meet your minimum reasonable needs. Maintenance is also available in shorter marriages involving family violence or if a spouse cannot work due to disability. The maximum duration ranges from 5 to 10 years depending on marriage length.
What happens to the house in a Texas divorce?
The house is typically community property if purchased during the marriage. Options include selling and splitting proceeds, one spouse buying out the other’s interest, or one spouse keeping the house in exchange for other assets. If children are involved, courts may award the custodial parent the right to live in the home until the youngest child turns 18.
Do I need a lawyer for an uncontested divorce?
Technically, no. But even uncontested divorces involve legal documents that affect your rights for years to come. An attorney can ensure you understand what you’re agreeing to and that the paperwork is completed correctly. Many people who handle their own divorces later discover they gave up rights they didn’t understand.
Talk to a Texas Divorce Attorney Today
Divorce is one of the most significant legal matters you will ever face. The decisions made during this process affect your finances, your children, and your future. At Varghese Summersett, our family law attorneys have helped thousands of Texas families through divorce proceedings in Fort Worth, Dallas, Houston, and Southlake.
We understand that every situation is different. Whether you’re facing a complex high-asset divorce, a custody dispute, or simply need guidance on your options, we’re here to help. Call 817-900-3220 to schedule a consultation with an experienced Texas divorce attorney.
