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9 Tips for a Successful Marriage

Marriage Tips

Every couple expects to go the distance. But most of us have heard the ugly truth: divorce rates remain high, with about 45% of all marriages ending in divorce.

In fact, reports that the average marriage lasts a little more than eight years.

Couples that have stayed together often give similar tips for a successful marriage, which many of us have read or heard on Oprah in self-help books or from therapists.

Many of these marriage tips seem like common sense and valuable guidance for any relationship. But when we’re in the throes of a heated, stressful marital issue, these tactics are often ignored or tough to implement.

Breaking up might be hard to fathom when you’re newly in love, preparing to get married, or still glowing with honeymoon romance with your partner.

Applying these marriage tips early in your relationship, before any significant issues arise, is often the best way to ensure an enduring marriage based on love and respect for each other.

The following tips for a successful marriage were collected from multiple sources, including the University of Rochester Medical Center, Psychology Today, and WebMD.

If you have any questions about divorce, call the Varghese Summersett Family Law Group.

Marriage is a beautiful journey that can bring immense joy and fulfillment to our lives. But it’s not always easy. Every marriage has its challenges and struggles, and it takes work to keep the spark alive. If you’re looking for tips and advice to help you build a successful, lasting marriage, you’ve come to the right place. In this article, we’ll share some of our top tips for a happy, healthy, and successful marriage.

9 Tips for a Successful Marriage

Talk and listen, clearly and often
Communicating clearly with your partner is one of the easiest and most reliable ways to stay married forever.

Have honest communication but keep it respectful and loving. Good communication includes being assertive about what you want and need from your partner but also listening to their needs and desires.

Talk often, too.

Express your thoughts and feelings with your spouse, and be receptive to theirs. Your conversations shouldn’t only be about money and parenting.

Appreciate your partner and your relationship. Treat your union like the sacred team it’s meant to be.
Make sure your partner feels heard. This means sometimes biting our tongues and letting them express themselves without their spouse offering advice.

Communication experts often extol the virtues of “mirroring,” which is repeating back what the other person is saying.

Of course, “mirroring” is supposed to be heartfelt, not condescending. So be careful with parroting back word-for-word your partner’s concern or issue.

Respectful communication in a relationship is arguably the most important of the tips for a successful marriage.

Keep couple time a priority

Take time to plan outings and special dates. Whether you spend the night binging a favorite TV series, going out to eat, or attending a show, it’s important to plan nights for you and your partner.

Although keeping the romance alive in your relationship is wonderful, don’t feel forced to kindle up an extravagant night of intimacy.

Our careers and children can often become the focus of our daily lives, and caring for our relationships gets put on the back burner.

Prevent losing the sense of fun you had as a young couple. Again, it doesn’t have to be a weekend away at a resort. Exercising, watching a movie, or making a day trip for a picnic at the lake are all great ways to remember to enjoy each other’s company.

Have hobbies, and personal time
Time together is not the only thing that helps keep a marriage running smoothly. Personal time is important, too.

Your partner doesn’t need to be involved in your hobby or weekend passion. In fact, it’s good to have separate interests and hobbies. Partners should encourage each other to have fun and dive deep into personal interests.

This also includes going out with your friends without your partner. There is some truth to the saying: “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”

Having a rich set of interests independent of your spouse is good for both of you. So take a class, paint, go mountain biking – whatever you find enriching.

Appreciation between partners is enhanced when you’re not in each other’s face 24/7.

Disagree without being disagreeable
Couples aren’t going to agree on everything. We all have different tastes in TV, film, music, or a favorite place to eat. And even if the topic is something more substantial, it’s important to be respectful when disagreeing. If you must argue, argue politely.

Keep your anger in check and try to keep the subject of the disagreement in perspective. If you need to take a walk to calm down, do it. Don’t let your frustration at the moment escalate the conversation into a hurtful exchange. Revisit the subject when both of your moods have improved.

Calling each other names or slinging insults does not help build mutual respect.

Compromising during disagreements goes a long way in building trust and necessary empathy in a relationship and remains one of the time-tested tips for a successful marriage.

Grace and forgiveness
An integral part of a long-lasting, healthy relationship is showing grace to your partner and forgiving them for transgressions.

We all make mistakes. And sometimes, our spouse’s mistakes are upsetting and infuriating.

But we need to learn to deal with our feelings, process them, and then let them go. Continuing to pick at a sore subject and bringing up the past shows your partner no forgiveness.

Remember to cherish the commitment you made with your partner. Even though we grow as individuals and perhaps change from whom we used to be, a relationship built on a foundation of grace and respect will help keep the marriage strong.

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Keep your sex life alive
If one partner is not sexually satisfied, it should be treated respectfully by the other. Intimacy may fade with children and careers, but it’s important that both partners feel fulfilled.

Marriage counselors suggest that we think about our partners as someone we want to entice to fall in love with us over and over again. A healthy sex life is one of the most common tips for a successful marriage.

This means paying attention to your grooming and treating your spouse like someone you want to bed with at the end of the night.

Leave work at the office
It’s understandable for partners to share what’s happening at work, especially if the office is causing stress. But it’s important not to overwhelm your spouse with daily office troubles. It’s not good for you to bring that stress home, and while your partner can help by listening to you, a little of this goes a long way.

Constant conversations about one spouse’s workplace could make the other resentful of their job and feel as if they’re less important to you.

Learn to grow together
Couples need to be willing to grow and adapt. Relationships evolve, and our desires and motives change through the years. What you needed in life two years ago might not be what you need now.
Flexibility with your spouse is crucial. Support your partner as they mature as an individual.

This one can be tough for some partners and is often overlooked when looking at tips for a successful marriage. Hopefully, we all continue to grow and evolve as we get older. So allow your partner to do the same.

Don’t hesitate to seek counseling
Don’t be afraid of therapy or marriage counseling. In fact, couples therapy is encouraged before marriage and before any big issues arise.

Don’t live with unhappiness. Work on it with a therapist. It will help you in your relationship. And if the unhappiness is directly related to the relationship, don’t hesitate to initiate couples counseling.

This dovetails with the tip on communication. Being open and honest about issues with our partner is crucial. A couples therapist will help facilitate these conversations.

Early or pre-marital counseling is often overlooked, but it is one of the most reliable tips for a successful marriage.

If you are considering divorce, call the Varghese Summersett Family Law Group at 817-900-3220.



What states have the highest divorce rate?

According to, the states with the highest divorce rates per 1,000 people as of 2022:
Arkansas, 10.7
Oklahoma, 10.4
Nevada, 10.2
New Mexico, 10.2
Kentucky, 10.1
Wyoming, 10.0
Delaware, 9.4
Utah, 9.4
Kansas, 9.2
Alabama/Missouri, 9.1

What states have the lowest divorce rate?

According to, the states with the lowest divorce rate per population of 1,000 as of 2022:
Maine, 4.8
District of Columbia, 4.8
South Dakota, 6.0
Pennsylvania, 6.1
New York, 6.1
Illinois, 6.2
New Jersey, 6.3
Iowa, 6.3
Wisconsin, 6.4
Massachusetts, 6.4

Who files for divorce more, men or women?

According to a study by the National Science Foundation, women file for divorce twice as often as men.
Almost 69% of women initiate divorce in the U.S. compared to 31% of men.
Surveys show that the disparity often results from the woman’s high and later unmet expectations of emotional support from men.
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